二年级英语幽默笑话小故事

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hereis a bad wolf in the forest. One day he is eating a lamb. Suddenly a bonesticks in his throat. “Oh, a bone is my throat.” He goes to see adoctor, “Please help me.” The doctor, Mr. Panda says, “Sorry, I can’t help you.The bone is inside.” “Whatcan I do?” the wolf is sad. Then he meets a crane. “Oh, dear crane. Please helpme. A bone is in my throat. I will pay for your help.” “Ok. Let me have a try,” the crane says. Shepulls out the bone with her bill. “Now I will go. Remember your words. Youshould pay me,” she says. “Well. Pay you. I remember,” the wolf says. Withthe words, the wolf bites off the crane’s neck and eats her up. 森林里有一只很坏的狼。一天，他正在吃一只羊羔. 突然一根骨头卡在他的喉咙里了。 “哎呀，一根骨头卡在我的喉咙里了。”他赶忙去看医生， “请帮帮我吧。”医生熊猫先生说：“很抱歉，我帮不了你。骨头卡在里面。” “我该怎么办啊？”狼伤心。后来他遇到一只鹤。“亲爱的鹤**，请救救我吧，一根头卡在我的喉咙里了。我会给你报酬的。” “好吧。我试试看。”鹤**说。她用她的长嘴把骨头拉了出来。“现在我要走了。记住你的话，你该给我报酬的。” “好的，给你报酬。”狼突然说，突然咬住鹤的长脖子，把她吃了。 TheOx and the Dog An ox and adog workfor the same farmer. One day the doghappily says: “How greatI am! In the daytime, I watch out for the farm at night,I look after the house. But you…” “Me? How about me ?” the ox says “You can only work in the field ,” the dog slightlysays. “Yes. It’s true,” the ox says. “But if I don’t work inthe field , what do you look after?” 故事22 牛和狗 一头牛和一只狗同时为一个农夫工作。 一天， 狗骄傲地说着；‘我是多么重要啊！白天我在牧场看护家群，晚上我看家。而你呢…..?” “ 我？我怎么啦？“ 牛反问。 “你只会犁地或是拉扯。”狗不懈地说。 “是的。你说得没有错，”牛回答道。“但是如果没有我犁地，你看护什么呢？　the dog and the shadow 狗和它的影子 a dog, crossing a bridge over a stream with a piece of flesh in his mouth, saw his own shadow in the water, and took it for that of another dog, with a piece of meat double his own in size. he therefore let go his own, and fiercely attacked the other dog, to get his larger piece from him. he thus lost both: that which he grasped at in the water, because it was a shadow; and his own, because the stream swept it away. 一条狗嘴里叼块肉,来到一座桥上.它看见水里有自己的影子, 以为是另一条嘴里也叼着一块比自己那块肉大一倍的狗.它忙丢下自己嘴里的那块肉,猛力地攻击水里的狗.试图去抢它的肉.结果,它两块肉都得不到. 因为那只是一个影子,它自己的影子而已.真正的肉也被水冲走了.

笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。下面我整理了短英语幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　短英语幽默笑话摘抄

　Friend for Dinner

　请朋友吃饭

　Honey, said the hu *** and to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

　What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

　“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

　I know all that.

　“这些我全都知道。”

　Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

　“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”

　Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

　“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

　短英语幽默笑话鉴赏

　The Fourth Element

　第四元素

　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?

　老师：自然界的四大元素是什么?

　Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...

　学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。

　Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?

　老师：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的?

　Student: Soap!

　学生：肥皂。

　短英语幽默笑话赏析

　Boxing and Running

　拳击和赛跑

　Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight."

　丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”

　Friend: "But suppose he es up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box."

　朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”

　Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

　丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

　短英语幽默笑话欣赏

　Make your fortune

　计划你的将来

　"How did you make your fortune?"

　“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”

　"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."

　“我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。”

　"How did that help?"

　“那有什么用?”

　"Now he has the experience and I the money."

　现在他有经验了，我有钱。”

　短英语幽默笑话品味

　The Looney Bin

　疯人院

　Late one night at the insane asylum ***疯人院***one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, "I did not!"

　一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”

　短英语幽默笑话品析

　会说话的钟 Talking clock

　While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.

　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。

　"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.

　“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。

　"That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"

　“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。

　"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.

　“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。

　Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

　突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这 *** !现在是凌晨两点钟了!”

　经典的短英语幽默笑话

　长寿秘诀 Secret For a Long Life

　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

　一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。

　"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.

　“我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，”那女士说。

　"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

　“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”

　"I *** oke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, everexercise."

　“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。”

　"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman.

　“哦，真神奇，”女士说。

　"How old are you?"

　“你高寿?”

　"Twenty-six."

　“二十六。”

　关于短英语幽默笑话

　控制女人的男人 Two Lines In Heaven

　Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God es and says "I want the men to make twolines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the menthat were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

　世上的每一个人都上了天堂 神说 :" 要男人分成两队 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一队 , 跟着圣彼德去 ."

　Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 mileslong,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.

　队伍列好后 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里长 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,仅有一人 .

　God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my imageand you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up andmade me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one onthat line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

　神生气的说 :" 你们男人应该感到羞耻 ,我按照自己的形象创造了你们 ,而你们被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的儿子 ,站着使我骄傲 . 你们应该向他学习 .告诉他们 , 儿子 ,你如何成为唯一站在这一队上的 ?"这男子回说 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在这的 !"

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